Your tax dollars at work -- way to go ICE!

Although the US immigration policy is ridiculous, I post this not as political commentary but just because it's so outrageously funny.

I'm getting stimulated today!

In honor of the scheduled delivery today of my economic stimulus prebate I'm posting this graphic that explains how our government can give us FREE MONEY!!!

$%@( Walmart!

One of the many reasons I LOATH Walmart--besides its degradation of the environment, its treatment of employees, and its importing of goods from countries where children and prisoners are used as labor--is because someone routinely stops me on the way out to check my receipt, or at least someone did when I used to shop there. The last time it happened I told the very nice little old lady who asked if she could see my receipt "No, but thank you for asking" and walked away, receipt unchecked, never to return. David Pelfrey of Birmingham's Black & White City Paper wrote about the insulting and degrading practice of treating every customer as a suspected criminal this week and has some useful advice:

Here’s a scenario that is familiar to anyone who has ever set foot in Wal-Mart, CVS, Rite-Aid, or any of a dozen other major retailers. After you have made a purchase, collected your bags, or packed everything into a shopping cart, you head for the exit. Just as you approach freedom an alarm sounds (usually a sequence of ugly, electronic grunts) and a robotic voice (always female) announces: “Please return to the checkout.” Other customers immediately look in your direction, and an employee begins to approach you. What’s your next move?

If you possess an ounce of personal pride or perhaps two ounces of fortitude, then the 100 percent correct move is to proceed immediately out the door. Why? There are many reasons, chief among them being that rational adults should not instantly obey mechanical voices (unless that voice instructs us to exit a burning aircraft). Also, if you haven’t stolen anything and therefore do not require interrogation, there is absolutely nothing that should compel you to linger post-transaction. It’s depressing enough simply being there in the first place. Another good reason to make a quick exit is that you aren’t being paid to assist some giant retailer with its security measures. You aren’t part of the team, and you didn’t clock in. The clearest reason for leaving the store, however, is that there exists absolutely no legal obligation to remain there, and the store has no right to detain you.

OK, so that part is about those annoying anti-theft alarm systems, but I wanted to get across that the store personnel have no right to detain you if you have not committed a crime despite the assumption that we don't remain private citizens with our rights entact once we step though the automatic sliding glass doors. Read the original piece at BWCityPaper.com or at Stand Up to Walmart.com.

ACME Catalog online!

Once available only via snail-mail to customers like Bugs Bunny and Wil E. Coyote, the ACME Catalog is now available on the Internets! I'm going to get myself some Super Speed Vitamins [tm], a Bat-Man's Outfit [tm] and an ACME Atom Rearranger [tm]! Oh, and a ton of anvils!

I'm secretly in love with Lisa Beightol

Ms Beightol is the blogger at AccuWeather.com's Astronomy Center. There's a picture of her on the blog. She's gorgeous. I crushed the moment I clapped eyes on her and knew I was looking at a beautiful woman who enjoys astronomy and writes! My wife laughed at me. She's not into astronomy.

Today Ms Beightol knocked me head over heels again when she announced she was a fan of Monty Python! Be still my heart! She also said the members of Monty Python all have asteroids named after them. I did not know that. Did you know that, Ed?

Give the post -- The Ministry Of Silly Asteroids -- a read and sign up for the blog.

Here's the bottom line: Ms Beightol can be a tad dry on occasion, but it's hard not to be when discussing science and technology. It doesn't matter since her own sense of wonder with astronomy makes it through when she's telling her "astro-nuts" about the latest. (That astro-nuts thing used to bug me. Now, I kinda enjoy it. I'm proud to be an astro-nut.)

NASA to announce discovery

NASA's found something they've been looking for and are going to announce the discovery next Wednesday in a press conference. The press release comes from the Chandra X-Ray Observatory, so that limits what the mystery object can be, likely something large and energetic. But, since it's in our galaxy I'm at a loss as to what it might be. Here's the NASA MEDIA ADVISORY : M08-089:

NASA to Announce Success of Long Galactic Hunt

WASHINGTON -- NASA has scheduled a media teleconference Wednesday, May 14, at 1 p.m. EDT, to announce the discovery of an object in our Galaxy astronomers have been hunting for more than 50 years. This finding was made by combining data from NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory with ground-based observations.

To participate in the teleconference, reporters must contact the Chandra Press Office at 617-496-7998 or e-mail mwatzke@cfa.harvard.edu. Live audio of the teleconference will be streamed online at:


http://www.nasa.gov/newsaudio


A video file about the discovery will air on NASA Television on May 14. NASA TV is carried on an MPEG-2 digital signal accessed via satellite AMC-6, at 72 degrees west longitude, transponder 17C, 4040 MHz, vertical polarization. NASA TV is available in Alaska and Hawaii on AMC-7 at 137 degrees west longitude, transponder 18C, at 4060 MHz, horizontal polarization.

For information about NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory on the Web, visit:


http://www.nasa.gov/chandra

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Watch Mercury rise and fall all through May

My latest astronomy column published today:

If you go outside about half an hour after sunset tonight and look just above the western horizon where the sunburned sky has yet to fade you’ll find bright pink Mercury, fastest of the planets, shining in the Sun’s wake.

Elusive Mercury--the smallest of the planets at 3,032 miles wide--is putting in its best appearance of 2008 during May. But, you’ll still need to be quick to see it.

You can read this column in its entirety as well as all five years of my past columns at the Starry, Starry Nights Blog.